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, though. I&#8217;m probably not as feminine as you are, but people still seem to not know or assume that I&#8217;m a lesbian unless I tell them. I&#8217;m not sure I&#8217;ve ever been ashamed to be a lesbian (I just spent a lot of time confused about labels), but I do find it difficult to tell people I&#8217;m one sometimes. My experience with coming out, admitting to myself, not denying when people ask, etc, is all of that takes baby steps for some people. For me, the first really helpful thing towards really accepting I&#8217;m a lesbian and being able to say it to anyone was just saying it over and over again to MYSELF and getting used to identifying that way regardless of how people see me, placing some normalcy on it. It&#8217;s hard to tell other people when you&#8217;re not at all used to identifying that way. There&#8217;s an adjustment period for all of us. And I didn&#8217;t really start identifying to myself as a lesbian until a little more than two years ago, so I feel so comfortable with it in terms of myself but still don&#8217;t have that practice of telling other people&#8230;and I&#8217;m more the kind of person who is not into announcements. I&#8217;d much rather people ask me and I get my practice telling people THAT way. But that&#8217;s the step that I&#8217;m on now&#8230;and being perceived as more feminine, of course people don&#8217;t ask me. Anyway&#8230;I guess my advice is take baby steps at your own pace. I don&#8217;t know why people feel they have to treat coming out like ripping a band-aid right off a wound, and then they wonder why they can&#8217;t handle homophobia and discrimination and people&#8217;s arguments/comments about being LGBT&#8211;it&#8217;s too much all at once. You have to start with self-acceptance before you worry about telling others and responding to some negativity.And there are lesbians out there who are pretending to just be straight &#8220;allies,&#8221; kind of like you&#8217;re doing. So you&#8217;re not alone on that, either.

erstellt am 2012-04-09 08:58:29 Uhr (GMT)
Of course you&#8217;re normal! Coming out, acceptance, social stereotypes, dealing with this all is not that easy.Although I&#8217;m not that feminine, when I first started to come out my friends joked I needed to get it tattooed on my forehead, because I could very easily pass as straight. My girlfriend used to say I don&#8217;t trigger her gaydar even knowing I&#8217;m gay. Being a very feminine lesbian can be even more frustrating, as many people misunderstand you for a straight alley, or put your queer-ness in doubt due to the way you look. This is all rubbish, obviously.If gayness depended on appearance, alot of straight people would be gay and the opposite, so we can happily forget about all this &#8220;you have to look gay to be gay&#8221;. The passage from being a proud gay rights supporter to coming out is not easy as well. It&#8217;s different to support gays and their rights as a alley or as a gay yourself. Assuming you totally accept yourself for what you are(do you?), maybe the fear of the opinion of the outer world stops you. I will give my example (real examples tend to be good in these situations).I am now out to all the people that matter to me: my friends, my parents, my brother. Also I am out at university and with new people, if the situation requires it. However, I am often bugged by the idea that some of the people I will meet in my life will disapprove or disrespect me for it, even when I like them. If I were still closeted that problem would never exist. My future employer, that maybe won&#8217;t fire me but won&#8217;t like me, some friend&#8217;s parent, friends&#8217; friends, coworkers, the neightbours. We tell ourselves that our loved ones&#8217; opinion is the only opinion that matters, but it&#8217;s not that simple, is it? The looks of people in the streets, of people that surround us in our life, it can hurt.Society can influence us alot in our feelings and decisions, it can be harsh on minorities and force us in a closet we don&#8217;t fit in. It can make us think that we are wrong, innatural, and then we become the major enemy of ourselves. There is nothing weird with your feelings, different individuals experience this particular situation in very different ways, and it&#8217;s fine. You just need to find your own way out, even out of the closet, if that&#8217;s what you need/want. Take it easy, nobody is after you, it&#8217;s a delicate matter. My advice is to take it slow. Reflect about it carefully, but don&#8217;t get obsessed with it or your anxiety will rise. Do what you feel, gradually, there&#8217;s no rush. You are okay, just the way you are. You will be fine ps. Well done about the aids ribbons and the support to gay rights! Too little gays (and even straight alleis) care about that! Be proud of yourself!

erstellt am 2012-04-01 05:06:45 Uhr (GMT)
something like, you did a great job, (something like that) and you deserve a kiss, then she kissed me two or three times on the cheek. Honestly, I didn’t see it coming especialli from her coz we just met sometime. By the way, she send me pictures when we flew the kite and had a chance to clear things up. And I opened up to her about being shy to talk or to have a conversation, and also about the kiss. She’s glad that I opened up to her in my email, then she opened up too through email and encourage me to be more open in person, be strong,and all sorts of encouragement but most especially… be myself. The thing is I started liking her, like I’m in love with her for the short time we know each other. I started looking out the window to check her car if she’s home or she’s not around. And again, after we opened up in email, this evening, while we’re on our way home from our neighbor’s house, the door opened from outside, and she came in. I felt like, Oh I can’t breathe, I can contain the joy i’m feeling but also I felt like I’m going to faint or something due to shyness and very nervous. I tried to look away while she’s talking and my mind says we need to go but my heart dearly wanted to stay. Until now, I am still confused about myself. And I don’t think, telling her how I really feel is a good idea, coz I don’t really want to loose her, even though if for her, it’s just a friendship. But I do really like her,I’m longing to see her always and hear her voice, laughing or talking, I like the way she handles things, the way she talks, smiles, her point of views, the fact that she is smart and very beautiful inside out and she’s very religious too, so I just don’t want to risk a possible beautiful friendship with her.And the most important thing is, I can’t see myself coming out to my family, friends and people around me. I can’t see myself hanging out with a girlfriend or hooking up with another girl, I mean like to do that but I simply don’t have the nerve to stand for what I want. I am too scared to get out but I’m sure that I really like girls, and now I can’t figure out how to deal with my life. So please give me some advice about my problem. Coz practically, I haven’t talk to anybody about what I am getting through now, so I’m hoping that you could hep me. Thank you. And more success in your career Erin.

erstellt am 2012-03-29 08:15:48 Uhr (GMT)
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