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, though. I&#8217;m probably not as feminine as you are, but people still seem to not know or assume that I&#8217;m a lesbian unless I tell them. I&#8217;m not sure I&#8217;ve ever been ashamed to be a lesbian (I just spent a lot of time confused about labels), but I do find it difficult to tell people I&#8217;m one sometimes. My experience with coming out, admitting to myself, not denying when people ask, etc, is all of that takes baby steps for some people. For me, the first really helpful thing towards really accepting I&#8217;m a lesbian and being able to say it to anyone was just saying it over and over again to MYSELF and getting used to identifying that way regardless of how people see me, placing some normalcy on it. It&#8217;s hard to tell other people when you&#8217;re not at all used to identifying that way. There&#8217;s an adjustment period for all of us. And I didn&#8217;t really start identifying to myself as a lesbian until a little more than two years ago, so I feel so comfortable with it in terms of myself but still don&#8217;t have that practice of telling other people&#8230;and I&#8217;m more the kind of person who is not into announcements. I&#8217;d much rather people ask me and I get my practice telling people THAT way. But that&#8217;s the step that I&#8217;m on now&#8230;and being perceived as more feminine, of course people don&#8217;t ask me. Anyway&#8230;I guess my advice is take baby steps at your own pace. I don&#8217;t know why people feel they have to treat coming out like ripping a band-aid right off a wound, and then they wonder why they can&#8217;t handle homophobia and discrimination and people&#8217;s arguments/comments about being LGBT&#8211;it&#8217;s too much all at once. You have to start with self-acceptance before you worry about telling others and responding to some negativity.And there are lesbians out there who are pretending to just be straight &#8220;allies,&#8221; kind of like you&#8217;re doing. So you&#8217;re not alone on that, either.

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Of course you&#8217;re normal! Coming out, acceptance, social stereotypes, dealing with this all is not that easy.Although I&#8217;m not that feminine, when I first started to come out my friends joked I needed to get it tattooed on my forehead, because I could very easily pass as straight. My girlfriend used to say I don&#8217;t trigger her gaydar even knowing I&#8217;m gay. Being a very feminine lesbian can be even more frustrating, as many people misunderstand you for a straight alley, or put your queer-ness in doubt due to the way you look. This is all rubbish, obviously.If gayness depended on appearance, alot of straight people would be gay and the opposite, so we can happily forget about all this &#8220;you have to look gay to be gay&#8221;. The passage from being a proud gay rights supporter to coming out is not easy as well. It&#8217;s different to support gays and their rights as a alley or as a gay yourself. Assuming you totally accept yourself for what you are(do you?), maybe the fear of the opinion of the outer world stops you. I will give my example (real examples tend to be good in these situations).I am now out to all the people that matter to me: my friends, my parents, my brother. Also I am out at university and with new people, if the situation requires it. However, I am often bugged by the idea that some of the people I will meet in my life will disapprove or disrespect me for it, even when I like them. If I were still closeted that problem would never exist. My future employer, that maybe won&#8217;t fire me but won&#8217;t like me, some friend&#8217;s parent, friends&#8217; friends, coworkers, the neightbours. We tell ourselves that our loved ones&#8217; opinion is the only opinion that matters, but it&#8217;s not that simple, is it? The looks of people in the streets, of people that surround us in our life, it can hurt.Society can influence us alot in our feelings and decisions, it can be harsh on minorities and force us in a closet we don&#8217;t fit in. It can make us think that we are wrong, innatural, and then we become the major enemy of ourselves. There is nothing weird with your feelings, different individuals experience this particular situation in very different ways, and it&#8217;s fine. You just need to find your own way out, even out of the closet, if that&#8217;s what you need/want. Take it easy, nobody is after you, it&#8217;s a delicate matter. My advice is to take it slow. Reflect about it carefully, but don&#8217;t get obsessed with it or your anxiety will rise. Do what you feel, gradually, there&#8217;s no rush. You are okay, just the way you are. You will be fine ps. Well done about the aids ribbons and the support to gay rights! Too little gays (and even straight alleis) care about that! Be proud of yourself!

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